Monday, November 7, 2011

Camp Canada

Back in the summer some of my friends and I decided we should go camping, because there’s nothing like being in the middle of nowhere with no toilet and sleeping in a freezing cold huddle of regret. But I was facing nature armed with something that laughs in the face of cold, and indeed hygiene. I was going camping with a Canadian... a group of Canadians in fact, a race born to chop wood and thrive in near arctic conditions. We would be going to a place in Canada called Chilliwack, which already sounds wilder than anywhere back in Blighty.

Our checklist included tents, firewood, marshmallows, chairs and copious amounts of alcohol. Beer, rum, whisky, vodka, more rum and more whiskey summed up the alcohol which accompanied us, in addition I brought along my trusty onesie so I could feel as much like a bear as possible.

Arriving on Friday afternoon we quickly set up two pitches, a girl’s one and a guy’s one. We figured we would have all the fun at the girl’s one so the guys could go elsewhere when they realise they’ve drunk way more than they can handle. Friday nights festivities where filled with music, laughter, barbequed food and of course alcohol, and it was around 6am when everyone finally dispersed and went to sleep. The night on a hard floor with only my jumper for insulation did not worry me as I had a belly full of whiskey, and it made me think, if only Leonardo Di-Caprio was a drinker… he may have survived the Titanic.

I awoke to a clear campsite, at least ours was! The same could not be said for the bottle riddled second camp, but after a quick group clean up it was soon looking cleaner than Gordon Ramsey’s worktop. 10am… time for the first drink of the day. I soon whipped up some mojitos for everyone then turned my attention to one of my dear Canadian friends, who is the real star of this story. His name is Aaron and he is the guy who's always the centre of attention when drinking, partly for good reason, but mostly for bad. I mean he’s a funny guy, but when drunk his comedic value quadruples, and this is because he acts as drunk as he is. Most people when they’re drunk try to conceal it, he on the other hand does no such thing, and although his actions may have me believe he’s a boarder-line alcoholic… I’m too busy laughing to care.

Anyway, I notice now that my friend is looking alert and ready for the day ahead, this worries me. In fact it was his idea to pour the first drink before we even had a shower, but apart from the odd slurred word he is fine. After we finish the first batch of mojitos I quickly put together another then announce that I’m going to go and jump in the shower. On my return I notice Aarons state has drastically changed, he has gone from drunk to near paralytic in just under half an hour. It turns out this was due to the fact that he had been putting 3 shots of whiskey in a cup and mixing it with cider for his early morning pick-me-up… like I said, boarder-line alcoholic.

After a few more drinks and some breakfast, we decided to take a stroll to the lake. That’s when the itching starts and I realise that I have been savaged head to foot by mosquitos! At this point my mum would tell me it’s because I have ‘sweet blood,’ I’m just waiting for Edward bloody Cullen to appear and finish me off.

The crisp fresh water does little to sooth the itching, what’s much more effective is watching Aaron attempting to swim, it was like watching the evolution of man in reverse. What’s more he adorns a woman’s hat and has mint stuck in his teeth, classic. After our fun down by the lake it’s back to the usual, party games, more drinks and some food. Aaron decides he’s had enough excitement for one day and lies down for a while, but everyone knows that he isn’t getting back up anytime soon. I go to check on him after a few hours only to find something the likes of which I have never seen before or since, the kid is sleeping with his eyes wide open! I mean that’s some Blair Witch crap right there. I try to wake him all to no avail, he’s out cold.

The parties in full swing and everybody’s loving it, we’re with our friends in the middle of nowhere with a fire and some drinks… can life get much better? Oh wait, we’re also in Canada! Aaron has even awoken from his drunken slumber to join the fun, although he opts not to drink anymore, wise decision.

Seriously though I want to make an important point, which is that people today don’t need Playstations and Xboxes to make them happy. We had none of those things on our trip, and I no we wouldn’t be able to do it often because Aaron would eventually die, but I think its proof that having good friends to share great times with is better than any game or inanimate possession.

Having said that I once got a triple kill with a single sniper-rifle bullet on ‘Nuketown!’


The campsite

"Do I have something in my teeth?"
Larking about at the lake 
It got a bit too much for Aaron
My trusted onesie

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